Do you guys remember the girl scout uniform? Not the brownie outfit, but the girl scout shirt. It was white and had panels of the green girl scout logo over its entirety. I remember that shirt distinctly because of how I once desecrated it with an entire jar of apple butter.
It had been a long day. Cara had just gotten home from her girl scout meeting (she and I were never in the same troop due to age). She sat in front of the TV eating a late night snack before bed, still in her pristine uniform. Not a blemish to be found on her shirt that exuded girl scout pride. It had been a long day for me too. Boredom consumed me as the last moments of pre-bedtime freedom drew near.
"What's this? A jar of apple butter in the downstairs bathroom. Why on earth is it in the bathroom? Well I guess I better put it back in the pantry. Hmmm, Cara is really focused on that show. I wonder if she would notice if I poured a bit of this apple butter on her?"
"Hey Cara, what are you watching?"
"Lauren, go away."
"I was just asking, jeez"
"Lauren, I told you to leave me alone!"
"Hey Cara, would you be mad if I poured some of this apple butter on you?"
"Lauren shut-up!"
"Cara?"
"Shut-up!!"
PLOP!
I quickly stepped back realizing that I had just emptied the entire jar on her head and watched as it dripped in huge blobs down that back of her shirt. It wasn't my intention to dump all of it on her, just a little bit. It came out too fast, like when you accidentally pour way too much Ranch on your salad.
If you've lived in the in the Cain household, you can guess how this little problem was solved. With extreme Violence. I don't remember much of the beating, but I think I took it quite well. I was definitely in the wrong, therefore fighting back wasn't really an option. A few years later, Cara would enact her revenge by throwing a totally rotten tomato from mom's garden at me. It splattered all over the back of my shirt.
Oh, the asinine things we do when we're young. Cara, I hope you've forgiven me. I admit, a small part of me thought it was worth it to see your face full anger and utter disbelief that I had just poured apple butter all over you. As the younger sister, I felt a small sense of triumph knowing I had done something that inspired such a reaction. I'm glad to know that our relationship is different now, and we've made significant progress in our maturity. Happy belated birthday and thanks for all the good times.
Love,
Lauren
It had been a long day. Cara had just gotten home from her girl scout meeting (she and I were never in the same troop due to age). She sat in front of the TV eating a late night snack before bed, still in her pristine uniform. Not a blemish to be found on her shirt that exuded girl scout pride. It had been a long day for me too. Boredom consumed me as the last moments of pre-bedtime freedom drew near.
"What's this? A jar of apple butter in the downstairs bathroom. Why on earth is it in the bathroom? Well I guess I better put it back in the pantry. Hmmm, Cara is really focused on that show. I wonder if she would notice if I poured a bit of this apple butter on her?"
"Hey Cara, what are you watching?"
"Lauren, go away."
"I was just asking, jeez"
"Lauren, I told you to leave me alone!"
"Hey Cara, would you be mad if I poured some of this apple butter on you?"
"Lauren shut-up!"
"Cara?"
"Shut-up!!"
PLOP!
I quickly stepped back realizing that I had just emptied the entire jar on her head and watched as it dripped in huge blobs down that back of her shirt. It wasn't my intention to dump all of it on her, just a little bit. It came out too fast, like when you accidentally pour way too much Ranch on your salad.
If you've lived in the in the Cain household, you can guess how this little problem was solved. With extreme Violence. I don't remember much of the beating, but I think I took it quite well. I was definitely in the wrong, therefore fighting back wasn't really an option. A few years later, Cara would enact her revenge by throwing a totally rotten tomato from mom's garden at me. It splattered all over the back of my shirt.
Oh, the asinine things we do when we're young. Cara, I hope you've forgiven me. I admit, a small part of me thought it was worth it to see your face full anger and utter disbelief that I had just poured apple butter all over you. As the younger sister, I felt a small sense of triumph knowing I had done something that inspired such a reaction. I'm glad to know that our relationship is different now, and we've made significant progress in our maturity. Happy belated birthday and thanks for all the good times.
Love,
Lauren
2 comments:
Warren,
I was laughing so hard reading this@
What a strong word, beating. Maybe a few licks with the wooden spoon. But I don't remember this incident.
Also,Mom and Dad had mostly given
up on corporal punishment by the time Lauren and Sheryl came. We used mostly threat of the wooden spoon. Plus, I know we would have found it difficult to believe Little Lauren would do such a thing. See, memory is a tricky thing particularly when you try to go back into the moment. This blog spot is almost like playing the game Once. Mom and Dad will be discovering many things we were obviously oblivious to.
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