The Ressurection

I suppose I should start off with an apology and move on to my excuses from there. Yes, I understand it has probably been at least two months since I have written anything to the family. I am sorry that those of you who cherish these ramblings missed them, but do not fear for I am back.
I don't want you all to think that the family blog did not rank on my things to do during the summer. In fact it always came to mind, but my mental state prevented me from acting on my impulses. Let me take you back to May 14, two days after I came back from a rather bitter semester at Buffstate (they wont let me graduate early). So at the crack of dawn I wake up with the feeling that I've been transported back two years and I still have more seminary to go. Oh wait no seminary, but something just as bad, work. As I meander my way to the front desk of Brookwood Inn, I am sustained because of the agreements I made with Kathy (boss). 1. I am working with Nancy, who besides Zach is my favorite person there. 2. I will be working mostly 7-3 shifts with and occasional night shift. 3. I will be getting a review/ raise that next Friday.
So for the most part I wasn't too upset about having to work the day after I got home, that was until I walked through the office door and saw no Nancy. "Yup," JT said, "just you today." Well fine, but at least I'll work with her sometime this week. I walk over to the schedule in the corner. Oh wait there's me on 3-11 for the rest of the week. I think I already knew the life I was going to lead at Brookwood, but I hoped it wouldn't be as I predicted.
Too bad for me, as the summer wore on, I saw less and less daylight and more of the night scene. For those of you who have worked night shifts you know of this change that occurs. Your day no longer begins at 8 or 9 in morning but closer to 12 in the afternoon and it certainly doesn't end before 1:30 the next morning. I found myself turning inevitably into JW who is notorious for waking up either just before his shift or more likely after it started. I never understood it, until one day when I didn't wake up until 12:20. There hasn't been a day in my life that I ever slept so late. Even when I pulled occasional all-nighter with Hayley or my suite mates, I would just take a nap later in the day. It was about then that I realized another horrible change in me.
An alteration in sleep schedule isn't enough to warrant my truly sad condition. I believe it was my tired and bored mental state. Something happens to you when all you do is work 3-11. You don't do anything before your shift and afterwards nothing is open to do anything anyways. So you see I believe I fell into a work induced "blah" state. It is not depression, but more of a lack of care for anything. The few days I wasn't dressed entirely in black, I chose bum around clothes and didn't blow dry my hair. There is something to worry about when a girl doesn't care about here hair. I'm sure Dad noticed my hair, more often than not, found its way up into a pony tail on my days off. With this "blah" attitude something other than my hair style faltered. My creative juices slowly drained into the nasty oatmeal carpet behind the front desk. Even when I tried to think of something clever, the best I could do was stupid blond jokes. It was truly evident then that I knew my life would not be good if I kept this up. However, for the sake of money, many of us sacrifice what makes us happy.
Moving to Buffalo was more a savior than it has ever been. It wasn't because of my first apartment. On the scale in my mind the apartment barely made a difference in the equilibrium. It was the chance to escape the death trap. I really can't explain the rejuvenated feeling I now have. It seems sunny all the time and I relish my time to just sit outside in daylight, with no one asking me what time I have to work or when are you off your break or do you have lighter. For the first time in months I created a c4 card that was funny. I am writing on the blog, and I know I have a lot to catch up on. But perhaps now you understand the reason, behind my lack of appearance.
So take a deep breath and count your blessings.
<3,
sheryl